Gastro Pups: It's All Your Fault Food Network

Oh, Food Network, what hast thou wrought? Despite not having a single program aimed at kids, the all-food-all-the-time channel has spawned a younger generation of foodies annoyingly known as "gastro pups."

According to USA Today, about 9.8 million kids ages 2 to 17 (out of 65 million monthly viewers) are watching Food Network, and those 24-hour TV dreams have given rise to a host of kid-centric books, websites and even school programs, all aimed at roping youngsters into culinary careers. So help me god, the first time my future child tells me he/she wants homemade pasta over a Happy Meal, the TV is going straight out the window. As The Grinder so succinctly puts it "Smother the Gastro Pups."

-- Brian Bernbaum