Game of Thrones Season Four, Episode Two: Purple Wedding

Categories: TV

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wikipedia
The Slayer

Say what you want about George RR Martin killing off main characters right and left, but he does seem to save the particularly grisly deaths for the real baddies. Remember Daenery's brother's horrible death-by-molten-gold poured on his head? Joffrey's painful death by poisoning at his nuptials pales in comparison yet was entirely satisfying. "Red Wedding," part deux indeed.

I always knew Joffrey wasn't long for this world, not only because he was a horrid little elfin sadist, but because the actor who played him, Jack Gleeson, has been quite vocal that once his time on the show ended he would give up acting. This is probably a good idea because, though he was delightfully wicked, there was always something a little off about his acting; I felt like I was watching a high school production of King Lear or something.

Poor Tyrion is blamed for the death, though we know it was really Joffrey's fool that carried it out. Now he will be banished to a cell somewhere until he can either prove his innocence or wait for the Lannisters to lose their power. He had already sent his mistress packing after fearing that she would be killed, now that his loving family had found out about her.

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Silicon Valley, Episode Two: Revenge of the Nerds Flashback

Categories: TV

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Let's Party

After months of watching new shows online and on TV that have been produced by people who are trying and failing to create "edgy" comedies. I'm happy to say that Silicon Valley is not only awesome, but, unlike those other shows, actually gets funnier in the second episode. Happily, all the jokes were not crammed into the first one and left to lager with each subsequent airing.

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Hell's Kitchen, Seventeen Idiots Compete: Your Wedding Day is Ruined

Categories: TV

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Ah, your wedding day. The day you have fantasized about all of your life; a day filled with flowers, champagne, and Gordon Ramsay yelling, "It looks like snot!" as he rams a plate of fried eggs into the trash while some fat galoob stands there awkwardly wringing his apron. You've waited a long time for this day, which is fitting because you will wait a long ass time for your entree, too.

I always wonder why people have special occasions on Hell's Kitchen. Our 60th wedding anniversary? Sounds beautiful! My sweet sixteen? Sign me up! Invariably there is chaos in the kitchen and patrons eating their weight in bread because their food keeps getting rejected by Ramsay before it goes out to the floor.

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Watch the First Episode of Silicon Valley for Free

Categories: Comedy, TV

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YouTube

If you're anything like me, you don't have a fancy HBO subscription. So when your friends chime away about how awesome the latest episode of such and such series was the night before, you plug your ears and recite the "La la la la," song until their voices drown out because you have to work your Google wizardry to find the show online. But when you finally do, of course you're an episode and a conversation behind. Thankfully, if you're reading this, chances are you have the Internet.

If you missed last night's premiere of Silicon Valley, there is no need to fear, ladies and gents: HBO made the pilot episode available to the public via YouTube, for free!

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Game of Thrones Season Four, Episode One: Off to an Auspicious Start

Categories: TV

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Wikipedia

The opening sequence of Game of Thrones is one of the very few opening sequences I always sit through -- because the graphics are rad and the music is perfect. It's hard to believe that it's been an entire year since I last hunkered down in my favorite chair to watch a show that I love but frankly could not really tell you what the hell it was about.

Don't get me wrong, I know a little, it's just that I'm not the sort to create a chart to keep track of everyone.

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Silicon Valley, Episode One: Reminds Us of Betas

Categories: TV

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Silicon Valley

Television is always the last creative outlet to portray something happening in real life. To wit, families other than white ones living together on a sitcom, families with women who are single parents, families with gays being parents, or families with extraterrestrials who eat cats. Eventually TV catches up with reality.

HBO has decided that it's time someone shined a satiric light on Silicon Valley, though to be fair, Amazon had already created a similar show called Betas. Betas was good for one episode -- funny and sharp -- but then it quickly got mired in plot and lost its sense of humor. Actually, the same could be said for this first episode of Silicon Valley, which comes out of the gate with some good zingers but then speeds up to make-way for a plot. The good news is, it's a good plot. Milktoast programmer Richard (Thomas Middleditch) unknowingly invents an algorithm that the entire tech world wants while trying instead to create some silly little app. Big money comes calling and he has to make some decisions about who, if anyone, to sell to. He has a posse of geek friends.

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Hell's Kitchen, Episode Three: Sayanara Mike

Categories: TV

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Wikipedia
Sweetie Pie

Is it just me, or is Ramsay getting a bit soft? He barely popped a neck vein this week, and when he tossed dingleberry Mike, he merely made a little poem: "There once was a cook named Mike, who couldn't cook fish, or any other dish, so I told him to take a hike." That's positively adorable.

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TV Threeway: San Francisco Ranks First for TV Binge Watchers Alongside Dallas and D.C.

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Shutterstock/ Deklofenak

Chances are that some people you know are more concerned on what's happening on their favorite TV shows rather than what the news stations are covering -- forget real murder, there's Law & Order:SVU!

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The Real World Ex-Plosion, Episode Thirteen: Fade To Black

Categories: TV

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Here Lies The Real World Franchise

A hush has come over San Francisco, because the Real World, Season 29, Ex-Plosion, has finally come to an end. But what did we learn?

We learned that it's now okay to kick, pummel, scrape, and otherwise deck your roommates in the Real World house. We learned that all young people in our city go to Infusion Lounge and Yoshi's when they want to go clubbing. We learned that lesbians are hot, skinny, and argue with one another about how girlie or manly they are being. We learned that two meathead jocks will get along like war buddies in an inversely proportionate to whether or not they both slept with the same woman. And finally, we learned that MTV is really on its last legs, and this franchise especially.

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Hell's Kitchen Season 12: Eighteen Idiots Compete

Categories: TV

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Wikipedia
Please tell me you didn't just ask who John Dory is? Please?

You really have to wonder why Gordon Ramsay does this show. He's got more money than God and several other good shows -- Masterchef is the best cooking competition on TV. So why does he annually amass a cadre of total dinks from Frog Hollow, MS, to vie for a spot at one of his restaurants? And why does he put himself in danger of a stroke every time they fuck up, which is like 80 times a minute?

He must know that we watch it for the same reason we watch Judge Judy: We like to see idiots get a tongue-lashing. After a long day at work, it's nice to see someone more incompetent than yourself being ripped apart for screwing up scallops. Still, the formula for this show is wearing thin. This week they did the usual "wrestle with farm animals you think you are going to be asked to butcher." Then the winning team, the ladies, got pampered off the shore of LA on some nice boat while the loser guys had to clean up all the pig and lamb shit.

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