47 Things We Learned in 2012 that We Really Need to Remember for 2013

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Mo Riza/Flickr

Arts and culture editor Anna Pulley and freelance writer Jamie McKenzie like to learn things the hard way. While this is not the best life strategy, it does come in handy when making end of year lists. Here's our advice for being a better artist, drinker, lover, writer, consumer, friend, and Twitterer in the coming year.

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How to Not Die in an Earthquake: Six Essential Tips

San Francisco Is a Great Place to Live if You're a Man

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Dating Advice from a Zombie

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Daniel Hollister/Flickr

In the spirit of Halloween, we present to you life advice from a zombie, who may not have all the answers, but he's definitely got the brains.

I used to have the most beautiful girlfriend in the whole world. I feel like I have too high of a standard now with who I choose to date. I've been single for two years. What do I do?

Beauty is important in a relationship because it is what originally attracts us to each other. It can also help keep the flame lit during those rough times (all relationships have them). So physical appearance does have some importance. But honestly, all that really matters is a girl's brains.

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The Walking Dead Returns: More Gore, Guts, and Glory

Dear Champ: Advice from a Fictitious Pro Wrestler

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Tags:

dating, sex, zombie

Dear Champ: Advice from a Fictitious Pro Wrestler

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pic courtesy of WWE

In honor of the wrestling buzz that's been making the rounds in San Francisco's arts scene (and beyond), we present to you this very sincere advice column, told from the point of view of a professional wrestler, known simply as The Champ.

See also: 

Lube wrestling at El Rio

Pulitzer-nominated pro wrestling play is a slam

Fall arts shows share uncommon ambition


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Lesbians too Busy Saving Everything to Participate in Studies

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The Kids Are All Right -- The parents, however ...
Last week, we told you about a San Francisco State University study which came to the shocking conclusion that gay parents, like their straight counterparts, have less sex than people without children. I know! We couldn't believe it either. Next thing you know, they're going to tell us Anderson Cooper is gay or something.

Via our sister blog the Snitch:

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If the Occupy Movement Occupied Your TV

The Occupy movement has generated some exciting and downright scary moments in American society. From the heartwarming camaraderie shown by demonstrators in New York City to the Tiananmen Square like scenes in Oakland, the movement is brimming with stories and fables. So we took inspiration from current events to spawn TV programs that might resonate with the Occupy generation. Forget the politically incognizant shows like Gossip Girl, Glee, or The Real Housewives. Here are some ideas for OWS-based entertainment that genuinely touch on issues faced by this nation:

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Ian Wang
BART 911
What goes through the mind of a BART cop when faced with fare-cheaters and agitated protesters? How does an officer decide between civility and strong-arm tactics while operating on such limited geographic terrain -- where one misstep can mean kissing an oncoming train and leaving work that day in a zipped-up bag? These questions are answered in a new reality series BART 911 -- a penetrating exposé that takes a hard look at the endurance and tolerance among members of a misunderstood and despised public transit law enforcement agency.

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Netflix to Customers: Let's Spend Some Time Apart

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Sad man: Netflix CEO Bamboo "Hasty" Chutes
Netflix has done it again. In a perfunctory e-mail message sent Monday, the company canceled plans to split itself in two, with the newly branded Qwikster to handle the DVD-by-mail business. Monday's message was brief and impersonal, coming from "The Netflix Team," as opposed to the fakely personal "apology" e-mail from the company's CEO in September that announced the proposed split. The reason Netflix was canceling Qwikster? Because "for many of our members two websites would make things more difficult."

Way to repair your public relations botch, Netflix: Blame your customers!

However, we discovered an early draft of Monday's message that contained a more frank assessment of the situation.

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Tags:

humor, Netflix

Outlandish Hyperbole Expected to Bring Steve Jobs Back to Life

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Jobs' hand visible in creation of known universe?
The death of Steve Jobs has unleashed a flood of journalistic hyperbole in the hope that it would revive the great man. As accomplished as Jobs inarguably was, the headlines have -- so far -- stopped just short of endowing him with Caesar-like divinity. But headline-writers may have to go a step further, since Jobs has not yet shown any sign of returning to this mortal coil -- despite Slate's brave bid: "The Man Who Invented Our World." We have collected a sampling of additional attempts here:

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Tags:

satire

Netflix's Secret First Draft of Monday's Terrible Announcement

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Whenever Netflix makes an announcement about something, everybody gets mad and breaks the Internet, which prompts Netflix to try to calm everybody through a gambit of great cleverness: Apologizing while making a new announcement twice as bad as the first.

Yesterday's letter from the CEO of Netflix -- attempting to redress the recent rate hikes that had upset so many customers -- boggled the mind. "Badness" may be its single most striking characteristic. But it could have been worse!

We have turned up what seems to be an earlier draft of that letter:

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