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Let me preface this by saying that the "relationship" I'll refer to is f*ed up in it's own right -- a kind of "friends with benefits" situation I've somehow ended up in, where both parties are afraid to commit to one another, but can't help but sleep together. (SF dating can be so screwed up.) Anyway, we often chat online all day during work, and we like to tease and play-fight. But the other night, I wasn't sure if we were teasing each other or actually fighting. All I know is, I came out of it feeling a little upset and a lotta confused. (I was also a little drunk.)

It got me to thinking about how much technology muddles our communication and perception of situations that might in fact be meaningful. In my case, I think it's a sign that I'm getting too attached to an impossible situation and probably need to get out, but I'm sure this sort of thing happens all the time to people. A "G-Chat ruined my relationship!" thing. Does it?

~G-Chatty Cathy

G-Chat was my favorite distraction when I had an office job. It's perfect for a quick diversion, sound off, or sharing videos of Nicolas Cage losing his shit. 

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​I'm a freshman in college, staying in the dorms. My roommate and I get along pretty well for the most part, except when it comes to her boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, her boyfriend lives across the country. But they Skype every day, loudly and gushingly, and after a while it really starts to drive me bananas. I happen to have broken up with my own boyfriend a few months ago, and my roommate knows this. Is it too much to ask her to tone it down some, or talk when I'm not in the room? I'm trying not to be bitter about it, but their lovey-dovey ways feel like a smack in the face at times. What can I do?

Ah yes, college roommates. You're probably still fresh from winter break, where privacy meant more than a "do not disturb" note on the white board (heart over the i, optional), and "rooms" in no way resembled a 10 X 10 concrete prison furnished by Target.

It's maddening to try to assert your privacy within the confines of a dorm room. It's similar to trying to assert your privacy in an airplane. You get four inches of wiggle room -- that's it. Attempting to exercise certain freedoms, like turning on the overhead light, or ordering coffee and orange juice will most likely get you assaulted by someone in your vicinity. This is all to say that you're limited in your ability to make requests in a dorm, especially because your roommate's boyfriend isn't physically occupying any of your space. However, I think this is less about the technological annoyance and more about your roommate's perceived lack of sensitivity to your broken heart. Otherwise, a good set of ear buds and some Adele would probably do the trick of easing your annoyance just fine.

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Should you ever confront a person who looks nothing like their online dating pictures or who has otherwise distorted the kind of person they are? This has happened to me twice on recent dates, and both times I've cut the date short and never talked to them again. Is it ever okay to tell them why? I don't want to be mean, but I also don't want to lie if they ask why I'm suddenly not interested in them.

Everyone lies on their dating profiles. We all want to appear like the hottest, most charming, well-read versions of ourselves, even if that includes using a photo that's a few years old or claiming to be 5'9'' when we're really 5'7''. Usually such self-editing is harmless. Who cares if I don't really read The New Yorker as much as I say I do? Who cares if I say I'm interested in yoga when I haven't gone to a class since Y2K happened? But when it comes to photos, you can't really fudge that. Eventually (presumably) the goal is to meet people IRL (aka in real life, aka barf), and if you've gone all Edward Scissorhands with the Photoshop, it's going to be immediately obvious.

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​Stories are powerful. No other medium has the ability to move, inspire, or change us quite like a well-crafted narrative. Never has this been more true than the world of sex, where fear, shame, and misinformation abound. This is all a high-minded and roundabout way of telling you to check out Wednesday's edition of Bawdy Storytelling, a rousing and arousing night of true sex stories that promises to make you laugh, make you think, and make you hard ... pressed to find a more interesting thing to do on a Wednesday night. More >>

I went out on a first date with a girl who is also a recently added Facebook friend. During dinner she kept bringing up things I had already read about on FB, but I lied and pretended like I didn't know because that's creepy, right? At what point am I allowed to admit I FB stalk her? A month? Longer? More >>

​A guy wrote to me on OkCupid recently. He was nice, but not really my style, so I didn't write back. He then wrote again, giving me shit for not responding to his first message. This solidified my decision to not talk to him anymore, but I wondered: If I'm not interested, why would I write back to tell him that? Is this something people do? I don't want to be rude or anything, but it seems like a waste of everyone's time to respond to everyone's messages out of politeness.

~Message Machine

Regardless of whether it's rude, it is very common. Messaging someone online isn't the same as asking someone out in person, most obviously because rejecting someone in person by staring at them blankly would probably convey "mildly autistic" or "audio visual artist," rather than "not interested." On the innertubes, it's perfectly acceptable to not reply at all, ever, to people you aren't interested in communicating with. Evading creepy or unwanted suitors is easier than ever in the digital realm. Go team!

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Oscar Raymundo's Easy Target takes one conventional argument from news media, pop culture, local politics, or queer lifestyle -- and shoots it down.

This week, the hearts of many melted after watching an Australian marriage equality public service announcement produced by GetUp!, an independent advocacy group. The video is shot in first-person and documents a relationship from lust-at-first-sight to marriage proposal in a backyard and all the trials and tribulations in between. The video has decidedly gone viral with almost 3 millions views so far, and it's already been called "the most-watched gay marriage ad of all time."

The video's popularly is due in part to the tenderness of the message and the good looks of the adorable "dream husband." The video also employs a switch-and-surprise strategy reminiscent of Prodigy's infamous "Smack My Bitch Up" music video, where it is revealed at the end that the heroin-shooting, stripper-smacking, self-destructive party junkie is (gasp!) a female. Similarly, GetUp!'s video ends with the revelations that it's two men who are choosing the type of commitment that is indistinguishable from that of straight couples.

Continue reading to see it for yourself.

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​ Anna,

Your previous advice regarding approaching ladies the right way online landed me a really fun date that turned into about 15 more, but now that we've had an argument or two I'm thinking maybe I should start over. How can I tell when it's time to break up when you're not even really "dating?"

~Easy Come Easy Go

First of all, I'm glad my column could help you get laid. That is truly the best Thanksgiving gift an advice columnist could ask for, barring, of course, some whiskey aftershave (What? We're not ALL participating in Movember), or a mermaid romance novel.

As to how you can tell when it's time to break up with someone, that answer is simple: When you want to. I know the term "dating" is nebulous. But quitting on a person after 15 date-like whatevers certainly constitute some kind of formal break-up. And when I say formal, I mean in person. I would, however, suggest you do it sooner than later, since Big Depressing Holidays are fast approaching, and you want to give her a leg up on all the eggnog she'll need to purchase to get over being dumped.

That said, break-ups in the digital age are a lot more perilous than they were back when we could simply chisel emo rock formations in our caves and take our anger out on unsuspecting mastodons. Bitches had it coming! Since we now spend 22.5 percent of our time on social networks and blogs, break-ups can be especially fraught. Here are some rules for disengagement to help you navigate the post-relationship waters.

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Simeon Den

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The first time I met Allison Moon, she was wearing a hat shaped like a fox head and telling an audience how she orchestrated an orgy for Bawdy Storytelling (Video below). Since then, she has only gotten more interesting. Moon recently self-published her first novel, Lunatic Fringe, detailing a love story between lesbian werewolves, and you can buy it at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or IndieBound in paperback or e-book. If full moons, feminism, and fisting don't entice you to pick up her book, then I don't know what will. 

You can also catch Moon on Saturday night, where she'll be reading at Good Vibrations' Lit Crawl event. Moon was kind enough to talk with me about sissy vampires, the state of publishing, and the mechanics of werewolf sex, obviously.

The first thing I want to know is this: How does werewolf sex differ from human sex?

Ah, the age-old question, how do lesbian werewolves do it? Does it even count as real werewolf sex? The werewolves of Lunatic Fringe have dextrous paws even more agile than the higher apes, so there's plenty of paw action, plus those tongues get good use. I do play with the idea of sexual differentiation among werewolves being not as clear-cut as it usually is with humans. There's a bit of the hyena pseudophallus in my imaginary design, but I don't get into that kind of detail in the book. Book 2 however, I can summarize in two words: "snout sexin'."

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