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John Q. Hipster models "the new normal."

​We didn't need any more evidence that the hipster aesthetic and lifestyle were firmly implanted in the U.S. mainstream. We've known for a while that the whole package -- the fixie bike, the skinny jean, the knit cap or cheap-ass short-brim, the "ironic" facial hair, the black-frame glasses, the PBR -- make about as much of a statement as a set of new tires from Costco.

But today we got more evidence. It came in the form of an obituary a press release about three shows to be released later this month on a YouTube channel called American Hipster. About the only thing that could scream "OVER!" louder than this is a Martha Stewart special on hipster cuisine or a line of plaid shirts from Mel Gibson.

"American Hipster explores what it really means to be cool," says the obituary press release.

We'll just let that one hang there for a minute. Go ahead, read it a second time. It's worth it.

The obituary press release continues: "'Hipsterism' is a growing trend in the U.S. that doesn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon."

We agree. It isn't going anywhere. Except to Target.

Speaking of targets, American Hipster (based on its trailers, embedded below) can't tell quite where it's aiming. First, this stuff has high production value. Really. These look like trailers for shows you'd see on the Travel Channel or Comedy Central -- or maybe even PBS, in one case. But the whole hipster thing is about low production value -- like something put together with a bicycle pump and a GAF View-Master between nine people sharing a two-bedroom Potrero Hill flat. So who are these shows are aimed at? Middle-class Oklahoma Colorado Wyoming Dakota? In other words, the only people left who've never seen a hipster in real life and have never traveled farther than the Best Buy out on I-10? That's our guess. Which means the skinny jean is attempting to muscle its way into the Mount Rushmore of American culture that includes baseball, hot dogs, mom, and apple pie. Which means looking like a hipster is about the safest thing on the planet.

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​Morning zoo sweater dumpling Glenn Beck is best known for saying ridiculous things on TV for a couple years and then suddenly not doing so anymore, probably because of the backstage scheming of Beck's greatest enemy, Woodrow Wilson. He also did some Founding Fathers cosplay and once held a rally where he honored Martin Luther King by denouncing the principles that Martin Luther King believed in.

Anyway, he used to be everywhere in our media culture, and then, suddenly, his voice was silenced, except for three hours of talk radio a day, a series of dumb books, frequent appearances on The O'Reilly Factor, his two web-sites, and another rally, in Israel this time because the forces that run the universe understood that that could be the funniest thing ever.

Turned out that rally isn't as funny as Beck's homepage, which looks like Gadhafi's Condi Rice scrapbooks, only with Glenn Beck, instead, and lots of ads for gold. At any given moment, there are at least 17 stock photos of Beck on the front page of GlennBeck.com.

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