Never Dine Alone Again: IKEA's LONE Singleton Dining Table

Categories: Humor

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

Take yourself on a romantic dinner date with IKEA's new LONE singleton dining table. Just imagine holding hands as you gaze into your eyes and split a bottle of wine with yourself. Maybe two bottles. Maybe more. Turn on some tunes, we're fans of "Hello" by Lionel Richie, and enjoy being alone -- with yourself.

The table-for-one hit IKEA Malaysia's Facebook page in late March, and the comments have been amazing.

And while we think this may have been an early April Fools' Day joke, it hasn't been confirmed yet! We just thought the table was so absurd that the only day to share it was today. Happy dining!

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Extra Sparkle and Shine at the Ballet: Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo

Photo by Sascha Vaughn

There was a time when ballet was the purview of Imperial Russia, when ballerinas Russianized their names from Lilian Marks and Hilda Munnings to Alicia Markova and Lydia Sokolova. Like a certain Norma Jeane Mortenson, the dancers knew their down-home monikers lacked the authenticating glamour of a Slavic pedigree. There was a time when every ballerina was a diva who radiated an individual gleam in the anonymity of the firmament. There was a time when balletomanes went to watch over-the-top personalities rather than over-the-puddle pas de chats. Bay Area audiences won't need to commandeer a time machine, to return to days of yore, when Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo comes to Zellerbach Hall on March 25.

Yes, they're an all-male comedy ballet troupe doing send-offs of classical ballets in full tutu-ed and pointe-shod regalia since 1974. But they are also, in the words of their artistic director Toby Dobrin, at heart a "dusty overblown Russian touring company that doesn't exist anymore."

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Love and Demons: J.P. Allen is In Love with San Francisco

J.P. Allen
Writer/director J.P. Allen plays Mr. D in Love and Demons

Love and Demons, J.P. Allen's dark, quirky, Woody Allen-ish romantic comedy, is a love letter to San Francisco. The City resident, a dancer turned filmmaker, offers a stylish, sophisticated look at neurotic love by the bay.

An unnamed couple, billed only as Man and Woman (Chris Pflueger, Lucia Frangione) navigate their way through a stormy, dysfunctional relationship as two demons, Mr. D (Allen) and Ms. D (Arnica Skulstad Brown) pull all manner of devilish strings along the way.

The writer/director chatted with SF Weekly about his unusual, wildly original, and ultimately insightful little movie.

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Final Tales: Q&A with Armistead Maupin on Concluding his Iconic San Francisco Series

Juan De Anda/SF Weekly
Armistead Maupin: Chronicling San Francisco one Tale at a time

Armistead Maupin refuses to be the old fart who bickers about San Francisco not being what it used to be, even after chronicling it for nearly 40 years.

What started off as a set of weekly installments in The San Francisco Chronicle in 1976, Maupin's Tales of the City series turned into an eight-novel series, three PBS television miniseries (based off the first three novels starring Olympia Dukakis and Laura Linney), and a stage musical at San Francisco's American Conservatory Theater in 2011.

Harper Collins

However, Maupin's work is more than just a popular fad of literature. It's a big-hearted portrait of a time, place, and people that were misunderstood, oversimplified, or simply ignored. Maupin was able to take a 1970s San Francisco that was the national mecca of sexual liberation/acceptance and depict in an endearing and humane manner.

Tales of the City chart the unexpected adventures of esteemed characters like Anna Madrigal, Mary Ann Singleton, and Michael "Mouse" Tolliver while simultaneously commenting and chronicling the changing times of San Francisco and the world at large.

Now Maupin has chosen to end the series after 40 years with last week's release of The Days of Anna Madrigal, a work that is less about departure than coming home. The book is an 270-page love note and elegy for the characters, their way of life, and to that place we and they call home: San Francisco.

SF Weekly had the opportunity to speak with Armistead Maupin on his literary trajectory, the changing nature of gay identity, writing plot lines and sagas over the span of decades, HBO's Looking, and saying good-bye to the residents of 28 Barbary Lane. Below is the full interview with some slight editing for brevity.

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G.B.F.: New Film Explores Gay Friendships With Humor

GBF: now playing at AMC Metreon

Darren Stein's new film G.B.F. (Gay Best Friend) won't be drawing comparisons to Will and Grace -- that fondly remembered sitcom was about a gay man and a straight woman who really were best friends. Stein's film is a comedy about high school cliques, where the queen bees use gay male friends as status symbols.

The performances are broad and the dialogue is often silly. Yet, G.B.F. has heart. Through it's humor it manages to make a fairly serious statement on the meaning of friendship and the importance of being true to one's identity.

Michael J. Willet and Paul Iacono are delightful as Tanner and Brent, two closeted gay nerds, best friends who might just be in love. That friendship is tested when bitch/diva Fawcett (Sasha Pieterse) decides to make Tanner over into the kind of hot, trendy, gay man she thinks he should be. Suddenly the invisible geek is the most popular guy at school.

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Color Me Bad: Holiday Coloring Book Made for Adults That You can Appreciate All Year


Ever envy kids? Sure you have. Just look at them in relation to Christmas. They're high off sugar, drunk off eggnog, and absolutely giddy with the delusional belief that Santa Claus brought all those expensive gifts... overnight... through the chimney.

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A Film About Peeing: Steve's Problem Readies to Debut

Categories: Film, Humor

Steve's Problem
Steve at the source of his problem

We're not sure what goes on in the Men's room, we've never been in there -- except for that really confusing bathroom at the Detroit airport, but once we saw urinals we realized our error.

But it's precisely the distinguishing factor between the men's and women's restroom -- the urinal -- that inspired this 15-minute comedy called Steve's Problem.

San Francisco filmmaker and writer Mike Lars White got the idea for the film based on the awkwardly close urinals at his former work place.

"I was working at an ad agency where the men's room had two urinals that were very close to each other -- not allowing much privacy," says White. "So I had this idea of two men striking up a conversation there, and what if they enjoyed each other's pissing company so much that they decided 'we should piss together again some time.'"

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Stocking Stuffer: Enviromental Condom to Raise Awareness of Human Population Growth

Center for Biological Diversity
Use it or Lose It.

For the guys who still don't have the perfect gift for that special someone, maybe you're considering using your God-endowed gift? (After wrapping it up of course!) Here's another benefit of wrapping it up, according to the The Center for Biological Diversity, it can save the dwarf seahorse!

This holiday season, The Center is handing out 25,000 free Endangered Species Condoms in all 50 states. Why? The Center hopes to raise awareness of the devastating effects of human population growth and over consumption on endangered plants and animals. According to their press release:

"More than 200,000 people are added to the planet every day and, according to the United Nations, global human population could reach nearly 10 billion by 2050. As the human population grows, wildlife pays the price as wildlife habitat is developed, air and water are polluted and the climate crisis deepens."
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San Francisco Christmas Cards That Make Us Laugh

Categories: Holiday, Humor

Noise13/Very Merry Mixmas

We think we'd keep these cards for ourselves -- those Midwest relatives wouldn't appreciate them as much as we do anyway, and they'll make us laugh all year.

These letterpress Christmas cards feature the Fisherman's Wharf bushman, a Nutcracker in bondage, and hipster Mr. and Mrs. Claus, among others. The cards are 5x7, the perfect size to attach to our fridge for the entirety of 2014. Check out all the images on Nosie13, and you can order them through the Very Merry Mixmas site.

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Naughty or Nice?: Elf on the Shelf Gets #Naughty

Categories: Holiday, Humor

Naughty Elf on the Shelf and the girls gone wild.

Elf on the Shelf has come a long way from his humble beginnings in 1950s Japan.

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