Here's the thing about living in the city: You get what you pay for. Gorgeous views, international cuisine, indulgent liberalism, and adorable alleyways do not come cheap. Unfortunately for our wallets and genitals, dating tends to work the same way. Whether you're looking for love or simply trying to get your girlfriend out of her sweats, here are our recommendations for the best cheap dates in S.F. to seduce your luvah without breaking the bank (or coming off as a cheapskate).

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47 Things We Learned in 2012 That We Really Need to Remember for 2013

The good folks over at Ad Age have been tracking the number of self-proclaimed social media "gurus," "ninjas," "whores," (seriously), "mavens," and other barftastic titles since 2009. Not only have these titles not gone away, they've grown exponentially in the last few years, from a mere 16,000 to 181,000.

Here are the most popular (awful) social media names people are calling themselves on Twitter:

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Twitter Can Get You Laid

​The BFF. Most of us have had at least one. It is a relationship that can be more intimate and enduring than even our most dramatic of romances. But sadly, forever doesn't exist. All too often, that friend we once ran to so joyfully becomes the friend we have to break up with. But unlike the other two corners of that holy trinity of love, family and partners, there is no accepted ritual for severing a friendship.

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Bike theft is a constant problem in San Francisco, and while more and more people are traveling and commuting by bike, many of them still don't know how to lock their bikes safely and securely. According to the SFPD, bicycle thefts are "crimes of opportunity," and "a thief's worst enemies are time, light, and noise." This means that if you are knowledgeable, aware, and prepared for locking your bike safely and correctly, you'll never have to worry about losing it.

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Mo Riza/Flickr

Arts and culture editor Anna Pulley and freelance writer Jamie McKenzie like to learn things the hard way. While this is not the best life strategy, it does come in handy when making end of year lists. Here's our advice for being a better artist, drinker, lover, writer, consumer, friend, and Twitterer in the coming year.

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Ah, the end of the year. The holidays, the hustle, the bustle, the family gatherings -- and soon enough the ball will drop and then it's time for those pesky new year's resolutions. Most of us will resolve to exercise more, eat less, or quit smoking (really, you still haven't quit smoking?). But today at the Exhibitionist, we would like to recommend a few more things we can all do less in the coming year for the benefit of collective humanity.

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Words That Need to Be Retired in 2013

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We love words! They are our livelihood, and our most cherished resource (aside from food, water, a roof, sex, sunshine, and Nutella), but this doesn't mean we don't know when it's time to move on. The Atlantic has a great list of words that need to be retired in 2013, along with explanations for the haterade (now every other word we use seems retirable!). We agree with most on the list -- "artisinal," "literally," "brogrammer" to name a few -- though we're a little baffled by others -- "quinoa" and "curvy"? C'mon, Atlantic. Or to quote another word they don't like, "really"?!

Here are our contributions to the impending word funeral.

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In our increasingly secular society, dogma of all kinds has been losing ground. That is, except when it comes to dating. Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, authors of The Rules have, since 1995, been claiming that they know the method for nabbing Mr. Right.

Like the priests of romance, they demand faithfulness from their acolytes. Ever unsatisfied, they are continuing to spread word with the upcoming publication of yet another book, Not Your Mother's Rules: The New Secrets for Dating. Whew, just in time, we would have been so lost without their entirely original and groundbreaking advice telling us how to deal with dating now that there is the Internet.

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The Sweet Spot: The Only Dating Advice You Need

The Sweet Spot: When Privates Go Public

Meredith Heuer

Lemony Snicket

At author readings, young fiction writers often leave disenchanted, because people are always going on about the book. Who has time to read? You want to know about the writing process, about the physical act of getting the words on the page, specifically that magical quality or thing or bit of advice that will put you the fast-track to Zyzzyva sending you an e-mail for once. Sure, you could go to writing school -- so go there. Tonight, at a bona fide writing class (CW 520, according to the syllabus) taught by an esteemed professor (Robert Glück) at an esteemed school (the S.F. State Creative Writing Department), which is open to the public one night a week. All that's needed is a big-shot author you can machine gun questions at. How about Daniel Handler?

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Appearing at Litquake Starting this Weekend: Practically Everyone

Flickr/Zach Klein

By Nate Waggoner

This past two summers, I worked for a company that held a script writing contest, judging amateur screenplays. I spent endless hours in my room and in coffee shops reading hundreds of scripts -- sitcom pilots, spec scripts based on already-existing TV shows, sci-fi, kid's fare, drama, horror, comedy, dramedy, dramuhorrordy, etc. I was fair, tactful, supportive, caffeinated, and bleary-eyed. By the end, I started having trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality, but the experience ultimately made me a more perceptive writer and critic, as well as what NOT to do when trying to get someone to care about your screenplay, whether it's a lowly contest consultant or a Hollywood bigwig.

Here are five guidelines to help aspiring script-writers and contest submitters out there.

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