Game of Thrones Season Four, Episode Four: Something Weird Happened

Categories: TV

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If I tell people that Daenerys annoys me, I can always count on some sort of attack. Besides Arya, she's everyone's favorite character for some strange reason. Yes yes, I do want her to storm Winterfell and find her rightful throne, duh. I just can't handle her speaking in R.R. Martin's version of elvish at every turn. This week she nails all the slave masters to posts in a sort of halfie crucifixion, in revenge for all the slave children that they have done the same thing to. "An eye for an eye" will mostly likely be her style of governance, not that that is different from anyone else in a position of power 'round these parts.

I haven't read the books, so I'm not sure, but it seems like something weird happened.

Littlefinger says he poisoned Joffrey (again, duh), but then Diana Rigg (Okay, so her character is Olenna, but I always just think of her as "Diana Rigg") tells Margaery (to paraphrase) that she "really didn't think I was going to let you marry that piece of shit now did you?" Then she tells her she needs to move in quick on little Tommen before Cersei realizes Margaery isn't as sadistic as she'd like her to be. She shows up in his chambers that night and does a shit job of seduction though. All she had to do was put her hand down there where his bathing suit covers and that would've sealed the deal, he was so excited to have a real live girl in his bedroom.

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Natalie Dormer

Natalie Dormer is the actress who plays her, and she was great at being a huge slut in The Tudors, yet in this scene she comes across as a rather chaste nanny. However, knowing the Lannisters and their kinky sex lives, perhaps this was actually a good approach.

Now we get to one of the most morally interesting plot lines: Jaime. He's a jerk who mamed Bran, not to mention he bangs his own sister. But when she asks him to kill Tyrion he says no. Then she asks him to kill Sansa, because, well, you know, she's a stupid little bitch who just had to have something to do with Joffrey's death. Instead Jaime calls up his old friend Brienne, the bitchy blonde babe who has the hots for him (yet another counterintuitive twist) and he asks her to find Sansa and protect her. Sure, she says, anything for you, you one-armed stallion, and he gives her a sword which she names Oathkeeper.

So much happens in this world R.R. Martin created, that it's easy to forget that there's monsters and magic here too. As the episode closes, a little baby is left out in the cold forest for the White Walkers. It is left upon a pedestal, and an incredibly ugly looking WW mofo comes up to it. Will he eat it? No. He takes it in his arms and presses his sepulchral fingernail to its cheek. The baby becomes a White Walker too. Still cute, but with ice-blue eyes. Can a Fisher-Price skeletal hobby horse be far behind?

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