The Real World Ex-Plosion, Episode Eight: Feminazis Take Heed

Categories: TV

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Full-contact dating

Well, the implosion of the Ex-Plosion finally happened, with the entire house basically at war. You won, producers.

So, like, Brian told Jenny that he kissed a girl and that set off a chain reaction of slaps and round-house kicks in his direction. MTV security had to get involved. Like I said earlier, the days of not being able to lay a finger on someone on this show are obviously over. Jenny got back at him by making out with this "hot" (Really? I beg to differ.) German dude she picked up at Yoshi's. Neither of these two are very likeable, and Brian would be a hell of a lot better looking if he lost the Frankenstein bangs. So fuck 'em.

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The other relationships in free fall are much more nuanced and interesting. No, really. Let's start with Thomas and Hailie. She's his ex and the girl he lost his virginity to, but she broke his heart by cheating on him when he went off to college. When he first came to the house, he and Jamie hooked up and became boyfriend and girlfriend. Then of course Hallie came... dun dun dun... Thomas told her he didn't want to get back together with her and that he was with Jamie. Fine and dandy, right? Well he's also telling her she can't date anyone while she's living in the house with him. Double standard city. Hallie, being in her early 20s and not yet imbued with she-balls, is apparently going to fall on her sword instead of some guy's schlong, and says she's "over" guys and will remain celibate during her stay. We shall see. On the Sexual Politics Chart, however, this whole thing is a page out of Women's Studies 101. Thomas is allowed to have a girlfriend and have sex around Hallie, but she can't even flirt with a guy. Fascinating.

But speaking of twenty-something gals who haven't found their she-balls: Jenna. She's been dating Jay for two years and he hasn't declared her as his girlfriend, let alone said he loves her. Yeah, I'm with you: So what? The interesting thing is that she has never spoke up about it. Ever. So she has basically never communicated with him how she feels for two freaking years. Jamie tried to push the envelope by bringing it up, which threw Jay into a rage so gigantic that he broke up with Jenna at the mere thought that she might have expressed unhappiness to anyone, let alone him. No wonder the beeotch kept her mouth shut this whole time.

But watching a woman afraid to use her voice or talk about how she feels, especially with a boring goombah from the Bronx, is frustrating. May the goddess imbue you with power, Jenna! Your feminist sisters will chant at the next full moon for you.

If you hadn't figure it out, this was a pretty good episode. I wish the entire season had this much going for it.

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