The Bachelor Juan Pablo, Episode Nuevo: Fantasy Suite is a Nightmare

Categories: TV

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ABC

What a truly fascinating season. The Bachelor has gone full-meta, people, and the comparative literature deconstructionist geek inside me is freaking out.

Last night's episode was all about the Fantasy Suite, a regular event in the franchise that some TV writers have referred to as (and I paraphrase) "an example of the strange sexual politics of the show." It's basically the one time that the Bachelor and the remaining three contestants can be alone without a camera, and its implied that they get naked and bang the night away. In essence, he's auditioning his future wife's sexual compatibility like some Arabian sultan.

But last night something went terribly wrong... or right, depending on how you look at it. The Fourth Wall of the Bachelor came tumbling down in a cloud of Drakkar Noir and champagne when Andi, one of the final three, actually told the truth about the show.

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wikimedia.org
And now let's see if the curtains match the drapes

Andi is a hero, and for her sacrifice I bet she is asked to be the next Bachelorette, which is both exciting and sad, when you think about. Basically, Andi got alone with Juan Pablo and realized that he was a self-absorbed, egotistical, shallow phony, something that astute bloggers such as myself have been pointing out each week. He talked about himself all night and never once asked her about her. We've all been there, but not with someone who might be our fiance. She was appalled that he seemed to have no interest in her politics, ideas of social justice, goals, dreams, fears -- none of it. She realized he was "there for the wrong reasons," which is usually the mantra the Bachelors have about the fake contestants. But instead of just saying to the camera, "Well, I realized we really aren't that compatible," she was brutally honest to both the audience and Juan Pablo. Then, when he acted like it was no big deal and that it was all "Okay," his catchphrase, she ripped into him for that as well. Goal!

Juan Pablo was left reeling and feeling put-upon, which, when you are a self-absorbed, egotistical, shallow phony, is your default setting. From the looks of the "coming up next week" bits at the end of the show, Juan Pablo is being groomed as the King of the Evil Bastards by producers. The Women Tell All appears to be a bitch fest about what a douche he is. Will he be even more hated than Jake Pavelka? Tune in to find out!

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