Trash TV: Keeping up with the #Rich Kids of Beverly Hills
The Osbournes and the Kardashians will someday have to face a TMZ-esque trial for their crimes against humanity.
It's only fair, because for every one guilty pleasure show worth watching, comes countless other programs in its trail -- with even more despicable characters than Honey Boo Boo's family tree.
Yeah, we're looking at you Bravo, MTV, VH1, Oxygen and the main culprit of them all -- E! Entertainment.
Humble members of the 99 percent, we introduce to you #Rich Kids of Beverly Hills, premiering January 19 on E! Entertainment.
It should be E! for enema, because that's what you'll need in order to rid yourselves of the waste that is most assuredly this show. To be fair, we're only judging by the show's trailer, but how can any of us be expected to endear ourselves to entitled adults debating what makes you most rich: Washing your hair with Dom Perignon or Cristal?
Seriously? How about neither. We'll choose Herbal Essences. It's only $3.99 and it's better to smell like raspberries than old champagne.
In any case, judge for yourselves, as we're sure many of you will tune in anyway. But before you do, meet the overpriced cast:
Dorothy Wang, 25
Credit to "Fame": Daughter of Roger Wang, a billionaire mogul and CEO of Golden Eagle International Group; she's self-described as "fun employed."
Morgan Stewart, 25
Credit to "Fame": We're not really sure, but she's loaded.
Brendan Fitzpatrick, 25
Credit to "Fame": He's the only one to actually work for a living. He's some real estate hot shot. He's also Morgan Stewart's boyfriend.
Roxy Sowlaty, 25
Credit to "Fame": Daughter of a wealthy print business family, she's a freelance interior designer whose about to be cut off from her monthly allowance! Dun dun DUN!
Jonny Drubel, 25
Credit to "Fame": He's the gay one in pursuit of love and a career in music.