The Write Stuff: Chelsea Martin on Sending the Morons Away

The Write Stuff is a series of interview profiles conducted by Litseen, where authors give exclusive readings from their work.

chelsea_martin_by_ian_amberson.jpg
Ian Amberson
Chelsea Martin is an author and illustrator living in Oakland. Her book Even Though I Don't Miss You will be published by Short Flight/Long Drive November 2013.

When people ask what do you do, you tell them... ?

I'm a writer. And an artist. I have a design company that sells t-shirts and stuff that my friends and I design. I'm trying to grow pumpkins.

What's your biggest struggle -- work or otherwise?

I literally cannot remember to water the pumpkins.

If someone said I want to do what you do, what advice would you have for them?

You should do it. It's got some major disadvantages and some major advantages but you can always change your mind later so just go for it. You're hot, baby!

Do you consider yourself successful? Why?

Yes. I experience a lot of self-doubt and am continually desperate for "something better" and I don't imagine that will ever go away. But I try to keep in mind where I came from, and how helpless and stuck I felt in the town I grew up in. I've got so much going for me now. And I did it myself.

When you're sad/grumpy/pissed off, what YouTube video makes you feel better?

Who did you admire when you were 10 years old? What did you want to be?

Well, by 8 or 9 I had figured out that I didn't love animals as much as I wanted to believe that I did, so veterinarian was kind of slipping off the list. And by 13 I wanted to be a "rude tv chef" (which I still believe there could be a market for). I can't remember what happened in those in-between years.

How much money do you have in your checking account?

$2,600

What's wrong with society today?

I think there's a lot of greed and selfishness. But I feel like I can only see four feet in front of me, because of the fog of countless deceptions and rampant lack of information and too much going on all at once.

If there were one thing about the Bay Area that you would change, what would it be?

Um, the morons. Way too many morons. I would send the morons away. And I would make rent cheaper.

A night on the town: what does that mean to you?

Getting forties with my boyfriend and walking to Downtown Oakland and somehow newly realizing there isn't anything to do there and going home and watching one or two episodes of The Colbert Report.

For events in San Francisco this week and beyond, check out our calendar section. Follow us on Twitter at @ExhibitionistSF and like us on Facebook. This interview conducted by Evan Karp. Follow Litseen at @Litseen.

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