47 Things We Learned in 2012 that We Really Need to Remember for 2013

Thumbnail image for mo riza.jpg
Mo Riza/Flickr

Arts and culture editor Anna Pulley and freelance writer Jamie McKenzie like to learn things the hard way. While this is not the best life strategy, it does come in handy when making end of year lists. Here's our advice for being a better artist, drinker, lover, writer, consumer, friend, and Twitterer in the coming year.

See also:

How to Not Die in an Earthquake: Six Essential Tips

San Francisco Is a Great Place to Live if You're a Man

1. Nothing lasts forever, even unemployment benefits.

2. Eating right and exercising consistently over an extended period of time really do help you lose weight and feel better, and none of these things are easy.

3. As an advice columnist, you should probably take your own advice.

4. You can throw up so hard that you may pull a muscle in your heart.

5. Seriously, drink less than you do. Just do it. You will thank us. (see No. 4)

6. People do want to help you, they really do. You just have to ask. Don't be afraid to.

7. Just because Twitter is a well-organized and shiny app, does not make its members' contributions any better than the AOL chat rooms of yore.

8. If you are applying to college, apply to more than just Berkeley.

9. Croutons do not constitute dinner, especially when you're 30.

10. Positive thinking and praying to a deity in India might net you a girlfriend, but she's not guaranteed to be right for you.

face yoga.jpg

11. You can have an orgasm during yoga. Yeah, that happened. What else happened? Horse yoga. <-- gross

12. Rachael Ray's recipes: surprisingly informative, fun, and delicious!

13. Lena Dunham, pretty much right about everything at this point.

14. Donald Trump, pretty much wrong about everything. Forever.

15. The government is really talented at coming up with many different phrases that all mean, "No, we're not doing anything productive right now."

16. Your heroes are real people and they are on Facebook. No one ever feels too good about their work. Tell them. It's easy.

8283820.87.jpg
Gil Riego Jr

17. We live in a world where we can instantly view full-color images of Mars but can no longer view full-color nudity in the Castro. (You can still view them on SF Weekly, however).

18. One of the best online sources for classy boob pictures is #boobs on Twitter. Who da thunk?

19. Freelancing requires actual discipline. See #boobs above. (Or rather, don't see them).

20. Your friends having kids and your exes having mortgages doesn't mean that your frozen pizza life isn't ... that you aren't a ... we'll revisit this when we're 38, thank you very much.

21. Parks! Always awesome and apparently really well-funded!

22. There is a fine line between being a foodie and an asshole. And that line is aerated carrot bubbles (We're looking at you, Fifth Floor.)

23. Fighting with your significant other is normal, not catastrophic. Make yourself some soup and calm the fuck down.

24. Working for corporations can pay as little as working for nonprofits. And the recession did not end three years ago. See unemployment benefits above.

25. The best casual encounter ads are published immediately before a Mayan apocalypse.

My Voice Nation Help
31 comments
sigwaards
sigwaards

@G_rhyme @annapulley Mr. Ed still in therapy.

sshabein
sshabein

@annapulley I want to high-five all of that.

RogerPickles
RogerPickles

@BuzzFeedAndrew @annapulley You can also be married to your first cousin in more states than you can get gay married.

wfrazerjr
wfrazerjr

@MacMcClelland @annapulley @bruce_arthur This seems right given the number of horse's asses in American politics. #uspoli

mosafma
mosafma

@MacMcClelland @finlay_squared @annapulley some wud prefer the beastiality, than be called a fag, lol. #gocanada

CJ_Marchello
CJ_Marchello

@macmcclelland @annapulley Only if the horse is the opposite sex.

RichardHayZeus
RichardHayZeus

@jamiekilstein @annapulley if you have sex with a male horse...then it's illegal.

CubbieWanKenobi
CubbieWanKenobi

@MacMcClelland @annapulley FWIW, you can have sex with a horse in every state... just not legally.

NonAmericanHero
NonAmericanHero

@wingingitmotown you also forgot to cc Sarah Jessica Parker`s twitter account in that tweet

ReaverBait
ReaverBait

@MacMcClelland @annapulley But a horse cannot consent!!

1999FordRanger
1999FordRanger

@BuzzFeedAndrew Pretty sure Sarah Jessica Parker can get married in a 50 states.

redoliphaunt
redoliphaunt

@annapulley tbf horses are totally slutty :/

joshnodnoc
joshnodnoc

@BuzzFeedAndrew @annapulley it's Adam and Steed not Adam and Steve!

tmacgrath
tmacgrath

@BuzzFeedAndrew puts a new spin on "stop nagging me".

maggiemae0412
maggiemae0412

@lbstewart @BuzzFeedAndrew @annapulley ewww... sick!

swagclub
swagclub

@lbstewart @buzzfeedandrew @annapulley damn. Don't believe Ida told that.

vickijee
vickijee

@SFWeekly Speaks to the audience whose minds we are trying to change.

Pawn2KingCMD
Pawn2KingCMD

@BuzzFeedAndrew @annapulley : Why do you know this ???

poetemaudits
poetemaudits

@BuzzFeedAndrew @annapulley WHAT ABOUT SAME SEX HORSE MARRIAGE/INTERCOURSE?

99YankeeSierra
99YankeeSierra

.@BuzzFeedAndrew: Neither sounds particularly attractive to me.

redheadedlib22
redheadedlib22

@BuzzFeedAndrew @annapulley Does it have to be a horse of a different gender?

steviegurr
steviegurr

@SFWeekly usually in confusion...

G_rhyme
G_rhyme

@sigwaards @annapulley Mr. Ed should have have known by now that that wasn't a carrot. #HeyOhh!

wingingitmotown
wingingitmotown

@NonAmericanHero I ran out of characters faster than something something Sex & the City joke.

lbstewart
lbstewart

@swagclub @buzzfeedandrew @annapulley is Ida the horse...

annapulley
annapulley

@Pawn2KingCMD @BuzzFeedAndrew I know this bc of @MacMcClelland. She's my horse rape resource.

annapulley
annapulley

@poetemaudits same sex horse rape is still not okay :)

swagclub
swagclub

@lbstewart @buzzfeedandrew @annapulley sorry. Ida was short for I would have. Not a girl horse name. Although she sounds hot.In a horsey way

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

San Francisco Event Tickets
©2014 SF Weekly, LP, All rights reserved.
Loading...