Books for Surviving the Impending Apocalypse
2012. Judgment Day. The end of the Mayan calendar. If you've been sleeping under a rock for the past 2,011 years, the world is supposed to end on December 21, 2012. Either you've spent the last few years digging out a shelter in your backyard filled with canned goods and weird space food, or you think the entire thing is a hoax. Either way, a lot of literature has been published on the topic of post-apocalyptic survival, so we thought we you enlighten you on the subject in case you were freaking out already.
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First up is the Doomsday Survival Handbook by local Bay Area writer David Murphy. This one is obviously intended for humorous purposes, with tips on how to survive almost anything, including: a plague of locusts, another ice age, a zombie outbreak, and a host of other (semi-satrical) cataclysms. The lists are broken up into five parts: The Sacred, The Cosmic, The Invasions, The Man-Made, and The Naturally Occurring, so it covers the standard apocalyptic gamut. If you had anymore doubts about this book's legitimacy, here's a quote from the author: "While it is important to remember that survival is not guaranteed, this book will certainly improve your odds." Awesome.
Next up is the book with the best name: The Coffee Table Book of Doom by famous cartoonists Steven Appleby and Art Lester. This one features great illustrations of all of the possibilities for the end of the world, including but not limited to: space earthquakes, gender erosion, pandemics, solar storms and robotic revolts, to name a few. This one may not give you as many tips on survival (though it does let you know what you should pack in your GOOD -- Get Out Of Dodge bags), but you will surely be educated in all aspects of how the imminent apocalypse may occur.
If you thought all of the books written about this topic were just a joke, think again. More people than you would think are pretty (read: extremely) serious about this whole doomsday thing. Cue Mr. William L. Davis' The Apocalypse Survival Guide. Mr. Davis, a former Boy Scout whose life experience includes a stint in the military and a career in law enforcement (so you know he means business), breaks down some "critical thinking, useful information, ideas, and attitudes to consider" in this field pocket guide for disaster preparedness. If the word "apocalypse" even slightly concerns you, this book will help you plan for the worst.
"A variety of cataclysmic punishments from God continue to rain down upon
us. Obviously, this is the time to eat several entire cakes." Great advice from Shannon O'Malley, author of Apocalypse Cakes, a book dedicated to all things related to baking and end of the world. Pictured above is a personal favorite, the Economic Collapse Crumb Cake. Very poignant and culturally relevant in these trying times. O'Malley also has a blog worth checking out for a few laughs to get you mind off of the world's impending doom. Baking suggestions for other awesome monstrosities include Seismic Haitian Mud Cakes (organic and made with dirt!) and "Inexplicable" Blackbird Pie.
We hope you get a chance to peruse these literary tips for doomsday survival and have a few laughs (we sure did). And just remember, if the world is going to end, it's definitely our fault!