This Election Season, We're Voting for Hello Kitty

Categories: Politics

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Fake Presidential Campaign season is in full swing, and since The Kinsey Sicks have taken their bid elsewhere, we at the Exhibitionist have a new favorite: Hello Kitty.

It's an obvious choice for us. Hello Kitty is the candidate of the Friendship Party, and as you surely know from having read my recaps of the first two seasons of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, that means Hello Kitty's party is magic! Granted, in the world of that show friendship is shown to be more conditional than magical, and magic itself is just a labor-saving device. But the point of the matter is, Hello Kitty has our vote -- and since her campaign is all about "friendship, fun and happiness," she may be just what we need to heal this divided nation.

See Also:

The Kinsey Sicks Remind Us There's An Election (Ahem) Coming Up

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Recaps

The Last Party: Robert Downey Jr. and Gen X Believe 1992 Will Change Everything

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You can't have a campaign without swag, which is convenient since swag is pretty much all Sanrio Co., Ltd. produces, so there's plenty of it, such as the lovely t-shirt and bumper sticker sent to the SF Weekly office. Appropriately enough, Washington, D.C. will get the best of the stuff, with canvassers and street teams giving out stickers, buttons, and yard signs.

And for the week leading up to the election, the Friendship Party Campaign Headquarters will occupy LivingSocial's 918 F Street event space in D.C., where there'll be a "Sanrio-style celebratory event before the election votes are tallied." I'm not sure exactly what that'll entail, but it sounds like a rockin' good time, and probably the one place in America that night that won't be divided by bad partisan vibes. (Seriously, I wish I could be there that night, hiding out from the rest of the world. I don't even care who wins this election at this point. I just want it to be over.)

Speaking of bad partisan vibes, you can also vote to choose Hello Kitty's running mate (on Facebook, obviously), and on behalf of SF Weekly and Voice Media Group, we officially endorse Badtz-Maru for Vice President. It's a controversial choice, and may lose us some readers -- the Chococat lobby is particularly strong -- but we stand by Badtz-Maru because he totally rules.

Lest you think this is all just silliness, or at least silliness without a practical upshot, Sanrio is also going to be partnering with 826DC, the District of Columbia outpost of our beloved 826 Valencia pirate store and youth writing workshop. 826DC is actually just the youth writing workshop, sans the pirate stuff, but it's still as good a cause as it gets.

Only one candidate is standing up for friendship, fun, happiness, and kids with strong writing skills.

Vote Hello Kitty.

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Sherilyn Connelly is a San Francisco-based writer. She also curates and hosts Bad Movie Night at The Dark Room, every Sunday at 8pm.

Follow us on Twitter at @ExhibitionistSF (follow Sherilyn Connelly on Twitter at @sherilyn) and like us on Facebook.

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