K-Town Episode 9: The Soft Heart Beneath the Mohawk

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After last week's shove heard around the world at the Belasco, we begin Episode 9 with a livid Mohawk Steve telling people to "get the fuck away from me" with an almost melodic cadence. Again, I like Steve when he's angry because it allows him to blossom and become more expressive, a rage butterfly, if you will. He is clearly done with Uncle Joe's autocratic rule. Also tapped out for the night is Prince Jowe who's wobbling like a commoner and has to be eased into a car by Violet, who somehow becomes designated driver.

We cut to the next day with Scarlet, Young, Violet, and Steve meeting for some gossip and post-party pho. Can I coin PPP? 3P? Let's make this happen, guys. We'll start at Turtle Tower in the Outer Richmond. Steve informs the group that he has yet to hash it out with Uncle Joe, who happened to disappear for most of the night after pushing Steve onstage. Scarlet suggests that Joe puts his hands on him because of his poor dancing. Young expertly demonstrates Steve's clapping dance, which, is how Korean ajummas (middle-aged women) typically get down at any celebratory function.

Steve also bemoans having to go home alone after Belasco, cementing his night as a categorical bust. Scarlet ribs him, saying he's probably only had sex five times in his life anyway. The group gets on the subject of Steve's lack of serious girlfriends and we learn that underneath Steve's mohawk is a "soft heart," as Young calls it. Yes, I'm pretty sure his heart lives inside the mohawk. Steve's parents were in a loveless marriage (they eventually divorced) and the family dynamic became wooden and uncommunicative. Actually, he described them as The Addams Family, but Gomez et al seemed kinda fun, no? They had a music video with MC Hammer, for crying out loud. Anyway, his parents' lack of love for each other shaped his aversion to finding himself in a similar relationship. Steve also explains that he moved back in with his mom after she got sick.

This is probably the first time we've delved into anything remotely emotional or personal with this group, and it's unfortunate that it had to come this late in the season. The K-Town cast is human and they need to be loved, just like everybody else does.

Speaking of love, the group gets on Violet's case when she reveals that she crashed at Prince Jowe's palace after dropping him off. She assures everyone that, though they shared a bed, she did not come in contact with the royal penis. Scarlet asks if Prince Jowe tried to seduce her and I wish they had subtitled her because I only heard, "He didn't trying putting his dick on your b____?" If any folks with supersonic hearing were able to decipher that, please say so in the comments because I am dying of curiosity. Put it where?!?

The group hops from the pho place to a Korean barbeque restaurant, because they know how to roll. I can appreciate a day that only revolves around stuffing your face. The whole crew is present this time, though no one is clambering to sit next to their fascist Uncle Joe. Young tells the group that after his Belasco performance, a talent agency in L.A. is interested in signing him, though it would mean pushing back his pending nuptials. Apparently, no one finds Young's potentially life-altering situation to be that interesting because they launch immediately into a collective complaint to Uncle Joe about not getting the free booze they were promised at Belasco. He agrees to pick up the check for BBQ as a peace offering. Cool move, but Steve still has some grievances to air. He brings up two solid points: 1) Uncle Joe put his hands on Steve and 2) He can't say he "hired" Steve if he never paid him or anyone else for that matter. With his seasoned debate skills, Uncle Joe just shakes his head, saying, "Whatever, man" before suggesting that Steve not come out next time.

Round 1: Mohawk Steve.

Scarlet then busts Uncle Joe's chops for never returning her phone calls and they retreat to the karaoke room (because there is always a karaoke room) to discuss in private. Steve stumbles in drunk and butts into the conversation, unable to control the volume of his voice. He's actually, in his own incoherent way, trying to defend Uncle Joe, but Uncle Joe tells him to "shut the fuck up" and Steve responds by referring to him as a bitch. This apparently is unacceptable because Uncle Joe gets up and throws a punch. Unfortunately, we only see bits and pieces of the scuffle in the preview for next week's episode, because the K-Town producers know how to tease. I do hope that Uncle Joe was able to take off his rings, watch, necklaces, and multiple earrings (including a George Michael-circa-"Faith" dangly crucifix) before the fight really got heated. It's only fair.

K-Town airs every Wednesday on YouTube's LOUD channel.

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