The K-Town Finale: Bitch Slapping and Fake Eyelashes

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This week K-Town ends its debut season and they must have heard the falling of my teardrops because the series is coming back for a second season in November. Yay? Anyway, on to the recap!

We finally get to see the full extent of Uncle Joe and Mohawk Steve's fight this week. I was initially going to say "fist fight" but that would be inaccurate as the two don't actually throw punches but rather slap each other and do some awkward wrasslin'. It just goes to show that trying to fight gracefully while standing on the cushioned seats of a karaoke lounge is a terrible idea.

Scarlet provides fight commentary -- trying to suppress her laughter -- and compares Uncle Joe to a "giant monkey" when he first slaps Steve before choking him "like a bitch." If go-go dancing doesn't work out for Scarlet, she should join Joe Rogan as a UFC commentator. She also mentions that Uncle Joe looks hot during this skirmish, which I can only interpret as her having a fetish for men who flail around together, unable to ball their hands up into fists.

Steve feels very strongly about this slap, which he finds to be belittling, and reiterates that the hostility between the two is based on Uncle Joe's controlling and disrespectful attitude, particularly around the Belasco event. The production team has to come in twice to break it up between the two. I really felt bad for the thin, hipster man who has to stand between Uncle Joe and Steve as a human barrier. I could almost read his thoughts: "They don't pay enough for this shit!" But hey, at least we know there was no chance of him being punched.

At one point, Steve begins yelling at Scarlet who is simply trying to defuse the situation, but she soon realizes that he's too drunk to be rational. Eventually, she calls Jasmine in as a reinforcement and the four sit together to once again hash out the night at Belasco. Jasmine tells Uncle Joe that Steve did his best that night and that they were all there in support of Uncle Joe's dream of having a job in which he gets to delegate tasks to unpaid minions, aka being some kind of modern-day feudal lord. Suddenly, Steve seems to snap out of his angry reverie and tells Joe that this wasn't their first fight and they soon begin exchanging anecdotes about getting kicked out of clubs for drunkenly brawling with each other. Soon, they're hugging and all is squashed. If this night's fight has been preceded by many and it's still this clumsy, it's safe to say that I would pay a handsome price for anyone who has video footage of one of their earlier clashes.

With all forgiven, the entire group gathers together to play a party game. It's guys vs. girls and they've bet that if the girls lose, they have to take a shot (because that would be a torturous penalty for this group) and if they win, the guys have to let them put fake eyelashes on them. As a bet, those terms are too bizarre to be random and when the girls win, it's apparent why they planned this: Steve looks amazing with these false eyelashes. Seriously, he looks glam as hell, especially in comparison to Young, Uncle Joe, and Prince Jowe who just look like they've had bad plastic surgery.

The group ends the night with a gushy toast on how much they love each other and how they can't wait to do it all again. Uncle Joe jokes that they'll re-do Belasco night and they all groan and throw random items at him. If this were a sitcom, this would be the freeze frame where they all look at the camera and shrug or shake their heads. What zany adventures will the gang get into later this year? Will Prince Jowe and Scarlet succumb to their twin flame power? Will Uncle Joe learn Coco Chanel's rule of taking off one piece of jewelry before leaving the house? Ruminate on these questions, sip some soju, and I'll see you in November.

Episodes of K-Town are available on YouTube's LOUD channel.

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