An Adult Reviews Dolores Park's New Playground

Nelson Minar

An aerial view of Dolores Park's new playground

We moved here because the bridges resemble monkey bars adorned with Christmas lights and Sutro Tower becomes a flying pirate ship when the fog rolls in. We moved here because at dusk, Bernal Hill and Glen Park look like sparkling fairy towns. We moved here because there are parades and parties and festivals and fairs and holidays for every known cause, movement and sub-category of person. Speaking of, did anyone catch the amputee-foot-fetishists' pride craft-fair-parade last weekend? (Kidding, not real. But we wouldn't be surprised if it existed.)

We moved here because we believe in magic and love to play. We sing, dance, dress up, decorate, paint stuff, and jump around. Just a big bunch of little kids in grown-up bodies who can also drink now, so thank Zeus the new Helen Diller Playground in Dolores Park has soft, bouncy, rubber flooring all over it.

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As far as the new playground is concerned, a huge BRAVO to the Friends of Dolores Park Playground for creating such a glorious construct of play, and for making S.F. summers awesome, even though yes, sometimes it's really cold, but dammit Mark Twain never said that anyway. If you are stuck in the role of responsible mom/dad/babysitter you may have a hard time keeping track of your kid because the space is enormous. "Mommy's gonna be right over there, you go play with your friends" doesn't quite work here as the kids seem to magically appear, disappear, and then reappear at random in all the different cubbyholes, slides, tunnels, and bridges. Prepare to be more alert and engaged. However, if you get to be the one playing, this playground is SO FUN.

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There is a spider web to crawl on, a humongous 45-foot slide, musical instruments (giant chime circle, anyone?) and tons of swings for all sizes. The set of swings for grown bodies faces the breathtaking downtown skyline and includes a chair swing that is uber-comfy. Go in the evening, bring a lover or a friend and watch as the city turns from pink to purple to blue. Watch the building lights flicker on and wink back at you. Slide and jump and climb and swing to your hearts' content, or until you get motion sickness because you're getting older now.

Dolores Park has always been a central component of San Francisco's play time. The new and improved, squishy and jungly, creative and inspired Helen Diller Playground is a glowing representation of that. If you visit during the day though, don't forget to go with a real kid so you don't creep people out. I'm looking at you, random dude holding a puppy.

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