Chillax, Man -- Marley's Mellow Mood Relaxation Drink Knocks Us Out, Literally
It was just a couple years ago that we were pounding back Red Bulls in order to stay on the grind. Alcoholic energy drinks like Sparks and Four Loko may be gone, but our response? Chill out, man. Since then, the kiddies are all "One Love" like never before. "Relaxation drinks" have become a rapidly growing $500-million dollar business, and who better to help you take the edge off than the man who practically invented it, legendary cool guy Bob Marley.
The Marley family produces Marley's Mellow Mood (© 2011 Marley Ventures, Inc.), "in honor of Bob Marley's vision of unity." Mellowing out is scientifically proven to lead to love and respect, and since the ganj is not actually legal yet (there's a momentary shock every time we remember), the Marleys have given us a zero-alcohol, zero-marijuana, melatonin-loaded alternative to help keep the peace. The drink's Twitter feed persistently asks, "World wide relaxation: Where are you relaxing?" But does it work?
The Internet gave us mixed responses ...
... so we took it into our own hands. My fellow intern Matt Saincome took the plunge and tried out the elixir of hope, at the risk of coming out as Ras Trent on the other side (or, as one drinker apparently experienced, violent rage against innocent teachers):
"It doesn't taste very much like tea, more like Vitamin Water that makes you sleepy. It's the absolute worst way to start off your work day. It's hard to keep your eyes open. Maybe that's why they say don't operate heavy machinery on the back? Someone asked me what my name was and I misspelled it."
The drink did make him a little too chill to fill the Exhibitionist with as much pithy snark as usual, but then again, the drink is certainly doing its job. As Marley Mellow Mood, Marley Ventures, and Marley himself encouraged: Free your mind.Follow us on Twitter at @ExhibitionistSF and like us on Facebook.