Kirk Read Is the Cutest, Most Polite and Charming Pervert We Know -- See for Yourself

Photo by Ed Wolf

Kirk Read

​Kirk Read is the only person on the planet who can tell a story about being fisted by a trucker inside a big-rig parked off a North Carolina interstate and make it come across as sentimental and touching. We heard him do it circa 1999 -- no wonder last year we called him "San Francisco's freak prince." And we're convinced he's the only one who has this special power. Think you know anyone who can outdo him? Send them our way and be prepared to be proven wrong.

Why? Read is an innocent-faced, polite, well-spoken Southern boy with a charming accent who talks like the world's biggest pervert and makes you want to come along with him for the ride because he's having so much fun. It's remarkable the number of things you'd consider way too weird or gross that Read can make seem like mischievous fun. So we trust him with dark material -- and it doesn't get much darker (in San Francisco terms) than some of what's in his latest show, Computer Face.

One topic he covers is the Republican presidential primaries.

"He is hired as a sex worker by candidates and campaign workers," Read boasts in his promotional materials. We trust it's a fictional telling (although you can never be sure with Read), but he covers other shocking subjects that we're pretty sure are true. Those include barebacking, crystal meth, satanism, computer addiction (hence the show's title), "and the distinct possibility of tenderness."

We're guessing he's about to outdo himself on that trucker story.

For a sample of what Read can do, view the clip below.

Computer Face starts at 8 p.m. tonight (Friday, March 23) and continues Fridays and Saturdays through March 31 at the Garage, 975 Howard (at Sixth St.), S.F. Admission is $10-$20.