New Play Wirehead Actually Wants You to Tweet During the Show

Jessica Palopoli

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Let's pretend this, Wirehead, is the play I'm watching. Now let's pretend you're texting in the seat next to me. And now let's pretend I'm trying to kill you with my eyes. Maybe there's a way we can co-exist, but it would have to be very, very new and tightly regulated, to keep me from trying to kill you with my eyes.

Among the annoyances endemic to those of us who go out a lot are show texters. If you text during a show, you are bothering everyone around you. Sorry. It's just that simple. I can see you, because the air around you is dark and your screen is lighted up, if that makes any sense. And because the human eye is automatically drawn to light in the dark, it's distracting -- does that explain it?

You are free to bother me, in this free country, just as I am free to spill my drink on you accidentally, and/or organize all those around us to fart near you, jostle you, and spill your drink. I've done it before, and I'll do it again.

So will you, which is why the SF Playhouse is so brilliant. The theater's new play, Wirehead, is a futuristic terrordome in which the rich can buy not only the markings of intelligence, like now, but the real article. It's Inception meets Flowers for Algernon.

Anyway, the theater knows perfectly well that some of you are gonna f#&!ing tweet during the show, so the staff has arranged for you to be quarantined. Join the SF Playhouse Pluggers, and go right to your special seat in the twit section. Sit down, light up, and tweet your head off, all the way through the show. No one will know or care -- except the Internet. It'll keep you from getting rage-farted on, anyway. Maybe.

Jessica Palopoli

RT@dickweed:Dude, so weird. Brains you can like buy.#imwatchingaplay#whatsthatsmell?

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